Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Yet Another Chapter...

Friends, I've been burning to write... And yes, I know it's been almost 3 months since my last post. God has been pouring so much into us these days, and so much life has been lived. So much so, that it dawns on me that we're basically at that point where one day we will look back at these days and recognize them as a "turning of another page"... the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next. We'll start with a story, as told by Katie... Hopefully you find it sweet and heart-warming. It is certainly a testament to God's goodness. But to do it the appropriate justice, we're moving this blog to a new venue. Just click on the link. Katie and I will be merging our lives-- and our blogs-- into one...



Please join us HERE... http://web.me.com/kateandty/Kate%26Ty/Blog/Blog.html






----UPDATE---- 10/31/09- 12:15 am CDT

In the days that have followed the posting of this entry, the response at the new blog site has been so encouraging. However, a couple of anonymous readers decided to leave this blog "rest" with a bit of a parting shot in the comments section. The sad part is, I know their sentiments are not unique to themselves... I let it "breathe" a bit, prayed about it, and decided it needed to be addressed with "the truth spoken in love". Here is what they wrote, and my response... (Too long to be posted as a "comment"... so I'm adding it here as an update...)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sure you have considered the ramifications of this, but as a young mother to a son myself, I have to voice what I'm sure many others are thinking. Katie is not T.J.'s mother. She will most certainly mother him and will be a great influence in his life. But, he has a mother. Please do not replace her in his mind. My heart breaks at the thought that if I were to die, my son (at age 2) would really have no lasting memories of me. If my husband were to remarry (as he most certainly would--and should!) I would hope that he would not emphasize that his new wife was our son's mother. I am his mother. He is my baby--forever and always. Congratulations to you both.

October 30, 2009 8:14 PM

Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a mother of 3 childre, I have to agree with the other comment. Although I am sure that Katie is a wonderful person, she will never be TJ's mother. He already has one. I think that it is really sad that he will not remember his Mom as he is much to young. You have already replaced her:(

October 30, 2009 9:33 PM

Delete
I appreciate the thought, my anonymous friends, and cannot imagine how hard it must be for you, mothers of little ones, to fathom, vicariously through Leslie's journey, the thought of "outliving" your precious little kids.

I'm going to bypass the inaccurate assertion that somebody is trying to "replace" Leslie, because you obviously haven't read my previous thoughts on TJ's and my (and Katie's) understanding of what a "new mommy" entails. I encourage you to dig deeper into my archive here, to read up on Katie's blog, and follow our new blogs into this "next chapter" for a better understanding of how God is weaving together our little family. But to summarize, nobody CAN or is in any way TRYING to "replace" Leslie. Moving on...

Yes, TJ's first mommy-- his birth mommy-- will always be Leslie. She is in Heaven, and TJ can NOT wait to be with there with her some day. We talk of her often, and we pray at night and thank God for her...

...and we thank God for giving us Katie, who has selflessly and bravely dared to love a child to whom she did not give birth... as her OWN. Can you fathom such a love? It is God-breathed and miraculous to be sure!

Yes, Leslie is "always" going to be TJ's mommy-- the woman who brought him into the world and raised him wonderfully until her dying day. But she is no longer HERE. While I'm certain (although somewhat blindly) that she indeed still loves her only child... I'm also certain that her love takes on a much different form in the heavenly realm. She is no longer here to love and hold and speak to TJ. Leslie understands better than any of us today that life goes on-- for her, in the eternal sense, and for TJ and me and Katie and each of you in the earthly sense... Separated for a time, but not forever, for those who share this eternal hope.

I only bring these truths up for you two-- and others who share your sentiment-- to consider as you share your judgment and misled observations with the masses. Dig deeper. What is it you are clinging to, hoping that your son should no longer know the nurturing and loving touch of a mother, should you move on from this place? What of adopting parents out there-- be it a spouse of a widow (like Katie) or couples who are unable to birth children and choose to take on a child as their own, to offer the "orphan" the love of parents and a family that they would not otherwise know but by the grace and provision of a benevolent God?

My encouragement to you ladies is this: You have spent some time relating with Leslie, apparently, imagining yourself looking down on your kids from a far-off place, watching as they call another woman "mommy". Try just for a minute, instead, to relate with your KIDS... What if you were gone forever from this place, completely incapable of kissing an ouchie when the little ones fell? Or reading them a book at night? Or being there for their first day of Kindergarten, or graduation day, their wedding, the birth of your grandchildren... Would you prefer them dwell in the great void of the absence of you alone? Or would it be better-- for your precious, beloved children-- to have a "new mommy" there to love them through those moments, in your absence? Especially one like Katie, who knew you and honors you and your legacy? How you respond is a testament to the true love you have for your children.

And the last thing I challenge you with is this: Put yourself in Katie's shoes. She reads these blogs. And I know for a fact many other husbands and wives of widows (and widows themselves) read these blogs. Parents with adopted children read these blogs. Can you for a minute fathom loving those precious little kids of yours... had ANOTHER woman given birth to them? The way you do? With the ferocious passion you possess for your little ones? The life Katie has chosen to live is a tremendous cross she will forever bear-- one that DAILY I pray will bring her at least HALF as much joy and happiness as it has cost her in sacrificial love. She loves TJ as her OWN-- kissing the ouchies and disciplining and reading and hugging and putting up with all the crap toddlers put a mommy through-- in SPITE of the fact that she KNOWS that some of the world says that she is NOT TJ's "real" mother. She chooses every morning to wake up in the face of that opposition and love him EVEN MORE for it.

So, is it "really sad" that TJ will only grow up with our stories and his fragments of memories of Leslie? Absolutely! But not as sad as it would be if that was the ONLY idea of a mother that he ever knew at all. I thank God for Leslie. And since He saw it best to take her home when He did... I am even MORE in awe of His love, grace, redemption, and provision in Katie.

Thank you again for your thoughtful reflections, and I hope you understand my heart in sharing my response.

Tyson

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am sure you have considered the ramifications of this, but as a young mother to a son myself, I have to voice what I'm sure many others are thinking. Katie is not T.J.'s mother. She will most certainly mother him and will be a great influence in his life. But, he has a mother. Please do not replace her in his mind. My heart breaks at the thought that if I were to die, my son (at age 2) would really have no lasting memories of me. If my husband were to remarry (as he most certainly would--and should!) I would hope that he would not emphasize that his new wife was our son's mother. I am his mother. He is my baby--forever and always. Congratulations to you both.

Anonymous said...

As a mother of 3 childre, I have to agree with the other comment. Although I am sure that Katie is a wonderful person, she will never be TJ's mother. He already has one. I think that it is really sad that he will not remember his Mom as he is much to young. You have already replaced her:(

In the Mix said...

I am appalled at these two anonymous comments. I am the mother of two young children (2 and 3 years old). If I were to depart from them prematurely I would hope they would never have to wallow in grief and suffer the hole that would be left from my passing.
I think it is wonderful he will have the opportunity to be loved by such godly women.
Your update is well said.

Ryan and Becky Weiss said...

Tyson, I have to agree with "In The Mix" and your update thoughts. I have three children and while the thought of not being here to raise them breaks my heart, the thought of them not having someone here to mother them breaks it even more. I think that it's amazing that you were able to find someone who is willing to love TJ as her own and not look at him as baggage that came along with marrying you.

I discovered your blog not too long after Leslie went to be with Jesus and was so impressed by your honesty and writing that I went back through the blog with her journey and read it start to finish in a space of a few days. Since then I have kept you, TJ, Katie, and Leslie's family in our prayers. What's taken place in your lives the past few years has been an inspiration to many!

Anonymous said...

My wife has followed this blog some and showed me this final posting. While I have my own opinions about all of this, I cannot help but come to the defense of these 2 commenters who are clearly being unfairly maligned. And in such an illogical and poorly argued fashion. This is not truth spoken in love. It is defensiveness spoken in arrogance and condemnation.

First, looking back through some of the archives on this blog does not reveal anything new on your take on "new mommy." Perhaps Katie has different thoughts on her blog, which I have not read, but it is YOUR thoughts that matter since you are TJ's father. A casual reading of this post and others would indeed seem to imply that you are replacing TJ's mother. If that is not your reflective of your thinking, then you need to elaborate and clarify. It is incumbent upon you to make your thoughts clear.

Second, most of your post is in no way a response to what these commenters have actually said. You seem to be protesting a bit too much, here. From the obvious repetition of phrasing and points, it is clear that this is a little speech you have practiced numerous times. Where did either poster say you should never remarry? Where did either poster say TJ does not deserve or should not have a loving, Godly, mothering presence in his life? They said quite the opposite, in fact, only pointing out that they think you are doing a disservice to your late wife, and to TJ, to call Katie a "new mommy." Your pointless appeals to emotion, your reductio ad absurdum arguments, and the sheer volume of your reply (multiple paragraphs in response to a few lines) undermine your point and show you are responding to misperceptions and not the points that these commenters actually made. Perhaps you are responding to things you have heard other people say or think they are saying, but this is not what these two people wrote. On a broader note, you have clearly succeeded in painting these posters with broad and maligning strokes because both "In the Mix" and the Weiss's reflect the same inaccurate understanding you present.

Third, neither commenter said anything in the least bit negative about Katie. The first hardly referenced her and the second referred to her as a wonderful person. The difficult road she is undertaking is in no way slighted or diminished by anything these posters wrote and I'm sure they would clearly acknowledge her love and sacrifice.

While you may take issue with what these commenters wrote, it is clear that you owe them an apology and a fair reading of their thoughts.

--My name is Nathan, but I will not post my last name. These thoughts are mine alone and I do not want them to be reflected back on my wife, who certainly knows some people who read this blog. If you wish to respond to me privately, please leave a comment to that effect and I will email you directly.--

ABF said...

I married my husband 5 months after his wife of 11 years passed away. My husband's son, Max, had just turned five. He is now about to turn eight. I have struggled to accept myself as Max's mother, and have never requested that he call me his mother, even though I have adopted him, and have raised him and loved him as my own for three years. I have not wanted to replace his "real" mother, and I have felt tremendous guilt every day that I am mothering him instead of her. Max decided he wanted to call me his mom almost immediately after I married his father. I will tell you, the most sad I have ever seen Max was the day I decided to believe the world and I told him I wasn't and would never be his mother. His mother was in heaven. This broke his heart. I have never seen a child broken like he was then. He was distraught, pleading that I really was his mom. Since that day I decided that the definition of a mother goes far beyond giving birth. Being a mother means BEING there for your child. Kissing the wounds, holding him, disciplining him, praying with him, helping him with homework, making his lunches, tucking him into bed, watching him as he steps on the bus each day, holding him when he has to get a shot, being a tooth fairy, and santa claus, telling him how much he is loved,and how special he is, all of which I have done. I know that Max had a mother for 4 years who loved him dearly, and would be there for him now if she could. And when we all get to heaven, I know she will thank me for being the mother she wasn't able to be on earth. Max is blessed to have two moms, two REAL moms, and the world will never convince me otherwise. Just ask Max.

Anonymous said...

I think that the major issue that people keep bringing up is the terminology of “new mommy.” People have come to know and love the woman that Leslie was through this blog, and they imagine the emotions that they would feel in this situation; this supposed feeling of being replaced. They feel anger and resentment. They feel worried. What they fail to realize is that these are all mortal feelings; or feelings that are only present on this earth. There is no anger in heaven. There is not resentment in heaven. There is no worry. I can confidently say that Leslie is not angry, nor is she hurt by the fact that Katie is becoming TJ’s “new mommy.” Look at 1 Corinthians Chapter 13; it’s a common verse that many people know, but do you really understand? “Love…does not envy…it is not easily angered….” Leslie is in heaven; she is experiencing peace and love, that as humans on this mortal earth, we cannot even begin to imagine. She feels joy, love, compassion and thankfulness that this woman whom she loved and who loved her is willing to take care of her son. We may not be able to fully understand the miracles and the beauty of heaven. We may not be able to separate ourselves from our sinful human emotion. We may not be able to understand why such a young vibrant mother had to leave this earth, but she did, and she is in heaven, and she understands. While people may scoff or dislike Katie being called TJ’s “new mommy,” the fact of the matter is that Katie is TJ’s new mommy. She is the woman who will nurture and love that little boy; the woman who will help shape him into the man he will someday become. Her accepting this role does not take away from the nurturing and love that Leslie gave TJ while she was on this earth, but intensifies it, because Leslie helped him become the boy that Katie has learned to love as her own. What I am trying to say is that Leslie and Katie are not in some sort of competition for the same role; there is not a limited space for mommies and love in this little boy’s heart. This is a family. It’s organic. It changes and molds and grows to accommodate all the seasons of life. Katie is not replacing Leslie; she is simply taking her place that God has laid out for her in this family.

JRF said...

Anonymous/Nathan:

With all due respect, I don't think your comments effectively "came to the defense" of anybody. To say that Tyson owes an apology is absurd. If you did, in fact, dive into his archives, you will see that he has never once penned a purposely offensive or derogatory word. But rather, has consistently spoke from his heart and EXPERIENCE, in love. Further, I don't believe the purpose of this blog is for us to "educate Tyson," but rather to witness and celebrate what God is doing in his, TJ's and Katie's life, as Tyson has so graciously shared with us. If however, you do feel the need to educate (as you have indirectly done in your comments), please consider your level of experience with this specific type of tragedy/hardship/renewal, before imposing your perspective.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Nathan. I find the "new mommy" heartbreaking for everyone that knew and loved Leslie. While I'm happy you found that "special someone" its seems like this relationship has happened very fast. I hope TJ is giving the time he needs to adjust to this big change in his life. His mommy in heaven should still be an important part of his life and how much she loved him.
Congratulations and best wishes to both of you.

Anonymous said...

The heartbreaking part of the story is that Leslie had cancer and died prematurely. The "new mommy" part of the story is the happy ending, the "beauty from ashes", the sun after the rain, and in no way whatsoever diminishes or erases the love Leslie had for TJ, or the memories TJ has of Leslie. And who can argue with God's timing? I wish all three of you overflowing joy and peace. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

I have learned so much from your blog, after finding it linked in a friend's blog, etc.. After reading Leslie's journey to Heaven in your blog and in her's, and also reading Katie's blog, I am reaffirmed more than ever in my faith for Jesus Christ and His love and as you stated before "beauty from ashes".. truly awesome. Being a mother myself--- while reading this blog not once did I ever think that you were ever trying to replace Leslie/ TJ's mommy. It breaks my heart that some would gather that from your story/blog. I feel sad that others are also losing sight that you, as well are taking a leap of faith, following God's will as having a new wife. No one can or will replace Leslie. This is like you said a "new chapter", and by God's will you were blessed with this-- another path to go down providing you, Katie, and TJ with love and the promise of God's word.
God bless you all, congratulations and my prayers will be with you as you set out on a new/different journey.

Carrie S said...

Tyson and Katie,

I have been out of the blog world for awhile but just felt the need to check in on you. As an adoptive Mother I certainly know the love Katie has for TJ and how she will love him as her own here on earth. I love my children with all my heart no matter if they came from me or from another mother. We are all created in God and live our purposes in life for him. After just having our adopted daughter lifeflighted this past weekend and going through a very scary time with her...I just cannot imagine if she did not have us, her parents, there to comfort her and hold her through such a crazy time.
My children's birth mothers will always be remembered, and the special mothers they had in between, but God placed them here in our family and we are their parents; just as you and Katie will parent and love TJ through these next chapters of life.
I pray for your family, cannot wait to follow your next phase as a family, and send you all the best from our family to yours.
God's Blessings,
Kent, Carrie, Elena, and Moses

Melinda said...

I haven't posted for a long time. I have to imagine that many of these anonymous folks never knew you or Leslie. I do know you Tyson and am feeling the need to come to your defense. There is not a more intentional man in the world than you. You and Leslie were so intentional from your courtship to marriage to relocation to having TJ to blogging and through her death. I can only imagine that Leslie probably even encouraged you to find TJ a "new mommy" knowing she would never be replaced but also knowing that TJ needed that in his life.

I think you hit the nail on the head on so many of your thoughts in regards to the 2 anonymous posts.

I thought the world of Leslie and was just wrecked when she passed. Allison(my daughter) and TJ share a birthday. SO, when I would read these blogs before and after Leslie passed, I would find myself transferring everything to "what if this were my life",etc. At one moment I felt the need to somewhere in my soul even ask forgiveness (if possible of a deceased one) for making this about me and not about Leslie. It was ridiculous that I was making this about me at all! I think that is what some of these anomymous folks are doing. It is very hard not to do this and is maybe even good for us to imagine ourselves on that path if it would change the way we love our spouses and our kids-- knowing that we are never guaranteed a long life with them.

Anyway, at one point I remember reading a blog where TJ was on the steps and was obviously having a moment where he was really needing a mommy. You were doing an amazing job, Tyson, but at that moment I just wept and prayed from deep within (and it was hard because I didn't want Leslie to be replaced. I wanted her back for him. Clearly, that wasn't an option) for someone to come into your life that could be a wife for you and a mommy for TJ. Prayed for your quick healing so you would be able to move forward and even that TJ would have siblings not too far from his age (sorry to rush that topic) Anyway, I am SO thankful for this exciting journey you are on and for Katie- a true answer to prayer and heaven sent. I only know Katie through this blog but am so thankful and excited for you guys.

terra said...

Define mother. Someone, anyone. Please define what it means to love a baby, to dedicate hours and hours to caring for, raising, cherishing, loving another human being with the fierceness of a mother's love. It is impossible - a mother is so many things, does so many things, means so many things. And really, who of us is to say what "mommy" does or doesn't mean to TJ? who are we all really worried about here? Tyson? katie? Leslie? TJ? the bottom line is - it is THEIR life, not ours. I dare any one of you to walk this path that Tyson has walked, to put yourself in Katie's shoes, to know the pain and fear that Leslie must have felt, and to be the little kid caught in the middle of it all with a huge infectious grin and these big doe eyes - and THEN you come back here and make judgements. I am really not directing this to any of the previous commenters - just typing what i see/feel/had to.
No one is replacing Leslie because no one COULD replace Leslie. TJ will ALWAYS know his mommy's love. But he has lots of "new mommies" now, that are different. He has his aunts, his grandma's, teachers - all of whom love that little boy with a love you can't put definitions on, who have stepped in to pick up the huge huge unfillable void left behind when Leslie passed. No one is taking Leslie's place, but everyone is trying to help fill her void. And for those of you who can't SEE how TJ loves Katie - just for who SHE is - and watch as he throws his arms around her, or holds her hand, or lights up when he sees her, I am sorry. I am sorry that you haven't been able to witness with your eyes the AMAZING job that Tyson has done being both mommy and daddy, the outstanding ways his aunts and grandma's and babysitters have stepped in to make sure that LIFE GOES ON for this little guy, and the fact that TJ himself is still a happy little boy.
It takes a village to raise a child. Some villages just have a lot more "mommies" than others. Think about who it is that you are really truly sad for/worried about/concerned over - yourself? or this family?

Tyson and Katie - congratulations, mazel tov, l'chaim, and many other well wishes. God be with you, as He surely always been.
tj - who luvs ya? keep on smilin', little dude.

Trina said...

Tyson, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading this....

"The life Katie has chosen to live is a tremendous cross she will forever bear-- one that DAILY I pray will bring her at least HALF as much joy and happiness as it has cost her in sacrificial love. She loves TJ as her OWN-- kissing the ouchies and disciplining and reading and hugging and putting up with all the crap toddlers put a mommy through-- in SPITE of the fact that she KNOWS that some of the world says that she is NOT TJ's "real" mother. She chooses every morning to wake up in the face of that opposition and love him EVEN MORE for it."

That is exactly how it is for me, a fellow new mommy. I know that some people will always think that I'm not a mommy to my two boys. If someone were to say that to me face to face, they would see my heart shatter into a million pieces.

My children KNOW that their mom was, and is, loved and honored. They will know just how much she loved them. Always. They know they have been blessed to have two mommies. As hard as it has been, they know they are LOVED.

Trina said...

Also, I wanted to say just how happy I am for the three of you. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Terra comments:

"No one is taking Leslie's place, but everyone is trying to help fill her void".

"Some villages just have a lot
more "mommies" than others".

Summons it all up!!!

Leslie's journey shared by her blog has touched many people. She has left a precious gift behind for TJ and one day he will able to read his Mommie's blog.

This sweet little boy Leslie left behind has won the hearts of all "mommies" on this board.

Best Wishes.

..Kelly

Auntie Gayle said...

As a MOM who gave birth to one of our daughters and adopted our second daughter, I can tell you there is absolutely NO DIFFERENCE between the amazing love I have for both of these precious gifts! Moms who have had the privilege of adopting children should never feel LESS than their child's birth mom. We thank God for her AND we understand we also are chosen to mother and raise one of His special children. Amen. Much love and blessings to you all!
Auntie Gayle

Sarah said...

"I agree with Nathan. I find the "new mommy" heartbreaking for everyone that knew and loved Leslie." wrote Anonymous.

I knew and loved Leslie. My heart is not broken by calling Katie T.J.'s "new mommy." Instead, my heart is full of joy and praises at what God has done for this new family He has created. Leslie will always be T.J.'s mommy. What a blessing for him to have two mommies who love him dearly, with all their hearts. I can assure you that after taking time to get to know Katie, I think she is truly a godsend both to Tyson and T.J. She is a remarkable woman.

Anonymous said...

No one can know until in the shoes of a widow/er with a small child/ren the heart wrenching pain the child/ren walk through in the absence of their parent. No matter what the surviving parent does, they can never ever fully fill the shoes of the other parent. It is with great grief to watch your child miss their parent & grow up continuously learning about life & death as God has allowed them to be so subjected to. We rejoice that God uses people as his vessels to fill in his love. And I believe he uses all of you in each others life that way.

BUT, our God does not intend for us be alone neither from the lack of his presence or from the lack of a companion. He designed woman (eve) to accompany man (adam). That being said, David states in one of his Psalms that " God sets the solitary in families" Life in grief is a solitary life of sorts. That is just what he has done for the three of you. He has set you in a family. Praise Jesus for that.

I am sincerely happy for you & look forward to getting caught up on the blog! God is good & so sweet! Love to you all!

Jenni Bliss said...

I have read every word of 'Leslie's Journey' and 'Another Chapter'. I am sure that the super duper brave anonymous readers can not say the same. Tyson, your heart is completely obvious. I made an international trip to come to Leslie's memorial because I was so moved. How dare any of you question this Godly amazing man who faithfully wiped every tear and walked every miserable and gut wrenching step of Leslie's sickness and death. Get a freaking life and get off your anonymous couch and quit bothering this man with semantics!! His heart is expressively clear. Tyson, the Bucher family and you and TJ are so very dear to my heart. Praise God for His provision and I think your strength is inspiring. I think we all need to remember that death is wrong. Not part of the original plan. No one wanted Leslie to die at age 32!!! But she did. And now we are left to muddle through. Thank the Father for His earthly provision for you and your son. Steve and Vicki, I think and pray for you often...

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!! my dear Jenni Bliss! You have put words to my feelings so much better (and gentler) than I could/would have. Love You! Leslie's FAVORITE aunt!!!

Anonymous said...

AMEN! dear Jenni Bliss. You have put words to my feelings, much better and gentler than I would/could have done. Love you! Leslie's FAVORITE anut

JudyBright said...

Every little boy needs a flesh and blood mommy here on earth. Praise God for his provision in TJ's life!

Matt and Abby said...

Hi Tyson. I hope you still read these comments. Matt and I wanted to tell you guys congratulations! We saw Tad in August who told us the news. We are both happy for you. I also wanted to add that as an adoptive mother, I am glad you addressed these anonymous comments. I will never be Hannah's birth mom, but I will be her adoptive mom. And if I should die before she remembers me, I hope Matt picks a wonderful woman to be her new mommy! Those women I think might be dealing with the idea that we can "posses" children. I have learned over and over that we cannot! Hannah was given to us by the Lord. She is His to do with what He wants. Have a wonderful end of the year!

Ruth said...

I only know Tyson, Leslie, Katie and TJ from these blogs, though we do have some mutual friends.

My grandfather's life was very much like Tyson's. His first wife died in the early 1900s and his new wife, a couple of years down the road, raised my grandfather's first son from the age of 3 on. This new wife, my wonderful grandmother, did not replace my uncle's mother, absolutely honored his mother, but she did mother him and my uncle considered her his mother. He honored his birth mother, but he also honored my grandmother with the title of "Mother" for stepping into his life in the life-changing/saving way that she did.

Like others have said, kids have an amazing capacity to love and accept. Those of us who have 2 children - when you had your second child didn't you secretly wonder if you could possibly love anyone as much as your first child? And then, of course, you loved your second child with the same limitless love you had for your first child. Children's love is just as boundless; they have the capacity to love more than one parent in the same way.

I am an adoptive parent. I honor my children's birth parents and give my children permission to love and honor everyone in their extended birth and adoptive families. Just from reading these blogs, I see that Tyson and Katie will do the same and already do. I guess the words "new mommy" set people off, but maybe just think of it as "another mommy." Another mommy who will honor Leslie, and mother TJ and who TJ needs to be his mommy. I am absolutely positive that in the perfection of heaven, Leslie does not feel replaced or jealous or any of those petty feelings of this world. We do not know how she sees things from that heavenly perspective, but I have to believe that she is rejoicing that a godly woman is going to be raising and mothering her beloved son.